who benefits?
Choosing to control or be controlled has more to do with survival than it has to do with power.
When we practice an activity or a mindset, we get better at it. Like learning a language or training athletically, playing with kink and sexuality is a skill.
It's a skill in relating to our own body and power, and learning to relate to the bodies and powers of others.
If you approach sexuality as a pathway to feel into your own power, you will hone that ability.
Honing your own power looks like:
🔥 Awareness of your body and ability to pause and fully experience its sensations;
🔥 Confidence in trusting these sensations as your truth and as valid messages;
and
🔥 Ability to act on this information in ways that serve your boundaries and values.
This may sound simple but it's a challenge if we're out of practice. We are raised in an overwhelming world that can teach us to disconnect from our body without even knowing it.
Just as an athlete's body and mind retains their strength and reflexes in other areas of their life, you too will retain the ways that you practice power.
The big misconception perpetuated by BDSM is the idea that dominance and submission are about playing with power.
Choosing to control or be controlled has more to do with survival than it has to do with power.
Authentic power is an internal ability to consciously choose our actions rather than reacting based on old patterns.
This power is a state of alignment that allows you to freely live in a world that is ultimately beyond all control. It transcends mundane limitations because it is wholly dependent on YOU.
In a world rife with fascism, capitalist rule, environmental devastation and systemic violence, it's incredibly boring seeing domination taught as radical or consensual.
Who benefits from your practice in safely enforcing order or following orders?
